


No

by ghosted_pixell



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, Dancing, F/F, F/M, Gay, I'm so sorry this exists, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Meghan Trainor, Not Reylo, Sass, footage from the actual episode eight, idk if this is fluff, just no, kylo rejecting rey, lol, no, reylo as notp, so much gay, some viewers may be disturbed, the pop music au no one asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 22:42:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10055102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghosted_pixell/pseuds/ghosted_pixell
Summary: Imagine someone from your NOTP asking out Person A of your OTP+ and then your OTP+ breaks out into Meghan Trainor’s “No” complete with dancing.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry for everything I have done in this world

Today is an important day for Rey; the day she asks out the man of her dreams. Kylo Ren. His thick luscious hair that doesn’t get squashed by his helmet, oh it’s beautiful. His dark eyes that always look so depressed, and his freckles that are so adorable. He may be evil, but maybe she can turn him. “Hey Kylo!” She yells when she sees him. “I wanna ask you something.”

“Go on, join the dark side.” He says.

“Um no, but do you want to go on a date with me.” Kylo leans back, away from Rey.

“Yo Hux bring the beat in.” Hux drops a sick beat and Kylo begins. “I think it's so cute and I think it's so sweet, How you let your friends encourage you to try and talk to me, But   
let me stop you there, oh, before you speak.”

“Nah to the ah to the no, no, no.” Hux and Kylo sing a melodic tune.

“My name is,”

“No!”

“My sign is,”

“No!”

“My number is,”

“No!”

“You need to let it go, you need to let it go, need to let it go.”

“Nah to the ah to the no, no, no.” Rey just looks at them with one eyebrow raised. The have now reached the point of wearing sunglasses and swaying their hips in time with each other. They look pretty fucking sick actually.

“My name is,”

“No!”

“My sign is,”

“No!”

“My number is,”

“No!”

“You need to let it go, you need to let it go, need to let it go.”

“Nah to the ah to the no, no, no.” 

“First you gonna say you ain't runnin' game, thinkin' I'm believing every word, Call me beautiful, so original, telling me I'm not like other girls, I was in my zone before you came along, now I'm thinking maybe you should go.” Kylo sings with the voice of an emo angel.

“Blah, blah, blah, blah.” This a side of both men Rey hasn’t seen before. She thinks about leaving, but is mesmerized by the incredible dance moves General Hux is working into this routine.

“I be like nah to the I, to the no, no, no.”

“All my ladies listen up, If that boy ain't giving up, Lick your lips and swing your hips, Girl all you gotta say is…”

“My name is,”

“No!”

“My sign is,”

“No!”

“My number is,”

“No!”

“You need to let it go, you need to let it go, need to let it go.”

“Nah to the ah to the no, no, no.” 

“My name is,”

“No!”

“My sign is,”

“No!”

“My number is,”

“No!”

“You need to let it go, you need to let it go, need to let it go.”

“Nah to the ah to the no, no, no.” 

“Thank you in advance, I don't wanna dance.” 

“Nope.” Phasma is also here now whispering under her bucket mask.

“I don't need your hands all over me, If I want a man, then I'mma get a man, But Hux is my priority, I was in my zone, before you came along, don't want you to take this personal.”

“Blah, blah, blah, I be like nah to the ah to the, no, no, no.” Hux is taking this very seriously and is grinding up on Kylo Ren. “All my ladies listen up.” 

“All my ladies.” It has progressed to a Hux-Phasma solo while Kylo stands looking like a BAMF.

“If that boy ain't giving up.” 

“Ain't giving up.”

“Lick your lips and swing your hips, Girl all you gotta say is.”

“No!” Kylo sings out loudly. “I'm feeling.”

“Untouchable, untouchable.” Hux continues to back his babyboy up.

“I'm feeling.”

“Untouchable, untouchable.”

“I'm feeling.”

“Untouchable, untouchable.”

“Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no.” Phasma finishes. They strike a Charlie’s Angels pose.

“Hey, Kylo, a simple ‘I have a boyfriend’ would have sufficed.” They seem not to hear Rey.

“Also, Rey, I’m your cousin. By the way, Phasma is single and free this weekend, take her out. Mic drop.” Him and Hux walk out all sassy as shit.

“Phasma, was any of that necessary?”

"Yes." She nods. "The General is very protective of his lapdog."

**Author's Note:**

> Time for some bleach. This one shot was sponsored by Clorax.


End file.
